i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Randomize
