we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
