I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
