Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
