I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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