Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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