btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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