I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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