I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
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