What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
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