Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
