Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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