Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
my phone needs a breathalizer
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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