My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
well you can't waste a boner
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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