whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
