I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
