ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
