I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
where does the pee come out of this thing
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
