is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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