break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
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Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
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Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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