Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
