Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize