omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
