Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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