We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
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His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
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I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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