Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
