There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize