What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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