I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
