dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
