ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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