is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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