But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
