I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
