Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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