so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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