Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
