He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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