she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
