My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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