so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
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He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
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You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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