Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
