Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
If its not for food we ain't going out.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
