but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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