You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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