So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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