Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
