butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
