Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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