i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
no you cant smoke seaweed
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
