I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
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