how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
