I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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