I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
