I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
