I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
