I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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