Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize