It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
