i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
