8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
