Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Randomize