I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
