I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
