oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
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I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
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My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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