i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
